What do I need to know?

HIV stands for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. If you have been told you are HIV positive, it means that your body has come into contact with HIV and you have become infected with the virus. The virus infects and damages cells in your immune system known as CD4 cells (T4 cells), a type of white blood cell that makes up a major part of your immune system. HIV uses these cells to make copies of itself.

Over time, if your CD4 cells are damaged, your body is less successful at being able to protect you from bugs and germs that can lead to infection or illness. HIV treatment can help you to stay well for longer.

HIV is the virus that can result in AIDS when the immune system has been severely damaged. However, HIV and AIDS are two different things. AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. HIV can lead to AIDS where the immune system has been damaged to such an extent that it is vulnerable to other infections and diseases. These infections and diseases are called 'opportunistic' infections The organisms that cause common AIDS defining illnesses are usually controlled by a healthy immune system. Many opportunistic infections are treatable or preventable.

How long will I live?

HIV treatments have improved dramatically over the years, and this has had a huge impact on an HIV positive person's life expectancy. However, every person is different and there is no set answer on the life expectancy of an HIV positive person. Many people agree that survival can be several decades or longer if there are continued improvements in treatments.

There are many factors - some related to HIV and some not related - which can determine how long a person with HIV will live. These factors include:

• How well you look after yourself emotionallyand physically
• Decisions around treatments
• Genetic factors
• Co-infection with other illnesses such as sexually transmitted infections and hepatitis. If you are co-infected with viral hepatitis for instance, this might influence your treatment decisions.

Who am I?

Right now, you might not be feeling like your life will ever be the same again. You might be feeling angry, confused, guilty, depressed or shocked. All of these feelings are completely normal.

There are many HIV positive people living in Australia today who are enjoying full and active lives. Many of these people continue to live their lives in much the same way as they did before diagnosis. You might have many identities or waysof thinking about yourself-mother, Asian man, gay man,teacher or Buddhist. Working out where your HIV status fits into your identity may take a little while, or it might be a relatively simply process for you.

Every person deals with identity differently, although there are some things that may help if you're trying to figure out where HIV fits in with your identity. Talking to other HIV positive people about their experiences and how they coped"can be useful. Your local AIDS Council or PLWHA organisation should be able to provide information on support groups for HIV positive people in your area. Peer support groups can be helpful if you want to talk to other people about their experiences.

If the idea of peer support doesn't appeal to you or if you are finding you need more help to come to terms with your HIV status and working through any identity issues, you can also talk to a counsellor or a one on one peer worker. Your local AIDS Council can provide advice on one on one peer support or counselling.

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My Journey

The series of black and white images in the printed resource are taken by a man called Matthew. Matthew is not a professional photographer, but like you, he is HIVpositive and these images reflect the complex range of emotions he experienced in coming to terms with HIV – from fear and insecurity to doubt and pain.

In Matthew’s words: "To travel back to that particular period of uncertainty was to be hard and tough and ultimately redemptive. Since then, I had decided to only have this predicament as part of a whole – never to encompass my entire being – but only letting it occupy its role, allowing it to take its course and fundamentally be as relevantly chancy as being, well, mostly gay, having green eyes or being born Australian. They, and HIV, are now givens. This major infringement is part of me, not me of it. And, how long have I got? Easy! The rest of my life."

Several other HIV positive people also agreed to participate in this resource. You will see their images and comments included throughout. We hope that their participation will help you begin realise that you are not alone. People from all walks of life are living with HIV and many people enjoy full and active lives. This booklet introduces you to some of them to you and we hope you find it honest, realistic, truthful, supportive and encouraging.

"from here to there
from there to here"