Okello's story
HIV Australia | Vol. 9 No. 2 | July 2011
In 2010, AFAO conducted a series of interviews with HIV-positive African Australians, in the lead up to a forum by and for African communities to discuss issues related to living with HIV in Australia. All names and identifying details have been changed.
I was working in Australia about ten years ago, I’d just met someone new and we started dating. She was aware of the HIV/AIDS pandemic in Africa so she was a bit cautious and she asked me to go for a test, and that’s how I found out I was HIV-positive.
Coming to Australia, I had tested for HIV and I was HIV-negative and because I always practised safe sex since the last time I’d been tested I was sure I was negative. So it was quite shocking, I can’t even describe it. It made me think of a lot of things, the usual stereotypes – all these stories I grew up hearing about people who are HIV-positive, all the labels that went with HIV/AIDS.
At the time I didn’t have enough knowledge or education about HIV/AIDS. I assumed that it was a sexually transmitted disease, or it was something that bad people get, or something that only gay people have, so it was a really hard time because I wasn’t any of these. I also had to deal with the fact that the person I’d been with, who’s still my partner, I might have infected her with the virus, and it turned out to be the case.
So guilt came in, no matter what she said or did to make me realise that she didn’t make anything of it. She genuinely understood that I didn’t know that I was positive and it was as new and as shocking to me as it was to her. I guess coming from a western culture, she had a different understanding of HIV and probably dealt with it better than I did, even though I came from a place where there’s HIV here, there and everywhere.
It wasn’t easy, early days, it was hard. I wasn’t even a permanent resident at the time. We had this secret we had to keep from a lot of people, simply because within the African community, my so-called friends didn’t stand by me.
It became juicy gossip. I had told my friends I was positive. Not so much to get support and help, but I guess trying to say, ‘This thing is real guys, we didn’t leave it in Africa. It’s not for gay people, it can happen to anyone like you and I.’ But that’s when friends started to shun me. Now I pick who I tell, and when.
These days I’m very positive about life. I’m going good with my meds, have two beautiful boys that I love very much. My relationship is better and stronger than ever. I’m working, looking after my family. I haven’t lost hope; I’m looking forward to so much, to doing so much, not just for myself, but with and for my family.
Probably the most important thing for the African community to know is – there’s nothing wrong with people who are positive, don’t judge them.
And if you are HIV-positive – there’s a lot happening with regards to medication. I started on 21 plus tablets a day and now I’m just on one tablet a day. So there’s a lot of hope on the medical side. There’s a lot of peer support. There’s so much help out there, there’s no need to be careless and reckless and give up hope. You can still live a normal healthy life.
Read other stories from this series of interviews
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