Lola's story
HIV Australia | Vol. 9 No. 2 | July 2011
In 2010, AFAO conducted a series of interviews with HIV-positive African Australians, in the lead up to a forum by and for African communities to discuss issues related to living with HIV in Australia. All names and identifying details have been changed.
I moved to Australia a few years ago on a 457 work visa. Prior to my moving to Australia, I had divorced my husband in Togo due to his promiscuous behavior. I decided to undergo a HIV test and was very happy to learn that I was HIV negative.
I am a nurse, and when I was offered employment in Australia and decided to relocate, I had to undergo a HIV test. Again I tested negative and continued my career as a nurse in Australia.
I was very lonely. I missed my children who were still in Africa and I missed having a companion. I began a relationship with Jonathan. Since he was also in Australia on a 457 visa, I asked him what his HIV test result was. He assured me that he was HIV negative.
A week after Jonathan and I had slept together, I developed flu-like symptoms. I confronted him and asked that we both go and get tested for HIV. He refused and replied, no “you can’t be HIV positive. There is no need to go for testing”. I found out that his wife in Africa had passed away, but when I asked him to tell me the cause of her death his answers were inconsistent and appeared to be a series of lies.
My health deteriorated and eventually I decided to go to the GP, who referred me to the local hospital. At the hospital, I underwent two HIV tests but each came back indecisive. Since my viral load was 150,000 and CD4 count was 93, the doctor concluded that I was HIV positive.
By this time my children had come over and so my aunty came to visit me from Africa and helped take care of the kids and cooking. By that time I had become very anaemic and could not drive or work. A friend would drive me to my hospital appointments. I started treatment. I did not react well to the medication – I vomited, had severe headaches, violent hallucinations, poor appetite, constipation and rashes.
A few months after being diagnosed, I started accepting the illness. It was encouraging to hear stories of other HIV positive people who are living long healthy lives. Accepting my illness helped me to cope with the realities of life. I continue to take my medication, eat well and rest as much as possible. I also plan for my future. My viral load is now undetectable.* I need to survive for my children.
It is a lonely life. I have lost contact with many people, except two friends. One friend told me not to tell anyone that I was HIV positive. One African lady who had told other Africans in her community that she was HIV positive had suffered a lot of stigma and discrimination. My other friend who used to drive me to hospital started spreading rumours that I was HIV positive. People in the community started calling me a ‘husband snatcher.’ You know in many African communities, single women are viewed as prostitutes.
I am not in a relationship now. I have been on a few coffee dates but I never let it go past the first meeting. I do not want to infect someone else with the virus and I do not want to disclose my status.
Read other stories from this series
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